Dear Boy: Part II

Dear Boy,
I now understand
why you stopped talking to me.
The girl is beautiful,
I'm happy for the two of you,
really, I am.

Just know that not a
day goes by that I
don't think of something
that I would tell you;
that I don't do something
that reminds me of you;
that I don't hear a song
or watch a movie that
makes me think of you.

I can't help but think about
how you made me feel
important
how you made me feel
beautiful
and how for the first time
in a long time that I was
truly happy.

I guess the truth is that
I miss you.
I miss how you could
make me laugh,
I miss how my heart would
start pounding every time
I would see you or when
you would reach for my hand.

Don't worry about me,
I'll be okay,
I always will be.

I have so much to be grateful
to you for. It was because of you
that I got back on my horse
for the first time in ten years.
thanks
It was because of you that I
learned that I deserve to be
treated like I am the only girl
that is out there.
thanks
I learned that the walls that
I have built up in my heart
aren't as strong nor as high
as I thought they were because
you broke almost all of them down.
thanks

But remember
remember me,
remember how easily I trusted you,
remember how you made me laugh,
remember how you still have a piece of me,
and remember that if you came
back that I would accept you like
nothing happened, like you didn't
break my heart, like we were best friends.

I guess what I'm really trying to say
is that I'm not over you
even if I say that I am.

We Been Talkin' 'Bout Jackson

I just possibly got

the. best. news.

I am going to be living here for the summer:

[source]

T Cross Ranch outside of the one and only

Jackson Hole, Wyoming.

It truly doesn't get ANY better than living in the mountains, riding a horse every day, and getting paid for it.

I am beyond excited for this!

In 16 weeks I will be there!

COME ON SUMMER!

Recap: My Great Gramma

So back in November I said that there was a funny story about my Great Grandma Kaye about patience in a doctor's office. Well kids, here it is,

imma tell you the story.

One day, I didn't have school so I was spending the day with my Grandma and her mom, Gramma Kaye.

Well, Great-Grandma had a doctor's appointment that morning at 9.

We got all loaded up in the car and took our drive just a couple of miles down the road to the clinic.

I loved the Highlights magazines when I was a little kid, and let's face it, what else is there to do in the doctor's office except read outdated magazines?

I claimed a seat and a magazine while my Grandma got all checked in. I was doing the monthly

"Where's Waldo?" puzzle in the magazine when my Grandma(s) came to sit down.

Not even five minutes after sitting, myGreat Grandma looked at her watchand said, "It's exactly 9 o'clock."

My Grandma said,"Mother, calm down,he'll call you back when heis good and ready for you."

She just made a snootyface like "don't you tell me that."

Then, a whole two minutes later,Great Grandma started freaking outvery loudly saying,

"WHERE THE HELL IS HE?IT'S 9:02. MY APPOINTMENTIS FOR 9:00. I EXPECT TO BE

EXAMINED AT 9:00!"

My Grandma and I[along with everyone else in the office]instantly busted out laughing.

Great Grandma didn't think itwas very funny.She then said,

"WHAT?!  I HAVE PLACES TO GO.

PEOPLE TO SEE. SHIT TO DO."

I just looked at her and said,

"Grandma. You're 90 years old.What do you think you're going to do?!"

Again, the whole office was erupting in laughter.I learned that day that sometimes

patience is overrated.

Dear Boy...

Back in November, my friends set me up with another friend of theirs. The thing is that I happened to know this guy very well. His brother was my brother's best friend back in the day, AND his mom was my

Sunday School teacher for years. So, it's fair to say that we knew each other.

We talked every day (a couple times we were up until 2 or 3 AM) It was like I could tell him everything,

I could be myself. He was always a

perfect gentleman

[which is kind of a big deal for me]

We were together almost every day for two weeks. Then everything just stopped.

I was afraid that I did something wrong. I was worried that I had somehow messed things up like I usually do. Finally, he told me that he had some big news. He was  moving in January.

I just thought, "it's all good, that's not for two months, we'll deal with this when it gets here."

And we were back to our usual routine of talking every day, even if it was just a "hey, have a great day"

kind of thing.

I was starting to think that this was just

too good to be true.

We hung out a few more times, went on a couple of dates, then *poof* it was over.

I haven't spoken to him beyond small talk in over three weeks.

Good grief, is it pathetic that I feel like I've lost something? The worst part is that I'm not even sure that

it was mine to lose in the first place.

The best part about this whole thing is that

I've learned.

I've learned that sometimes

I jump into things too fast.

I've learned that

I'm not a heartless zombie

[heh okay, that's a joke, but for real, it's comforting to know that I am capable of feeling like that]

AND I've finally been on a real date.

halellujah almost 20 years old and I went on my first real date in November.

[sorry for the slight tangent there]

Anyway, I had the time of my life.

Do I miss him? definitely.

Am I going to let him know that?

I don't know. [unless he reads this,

probably not]

But hey, it's a new year. Time for new friends, new knowledge, blah blah, ya'll have heard all that garb before.

So here's to 2012, let's make it the best year of our lives!