I've made a lot of mistakes in my life.
Some minor, some not so minor. These things have a way of ripping me apart from the inside-out.
I start to dwell on them, thinking the situation over and over again, wondering,
what if?
What if I would have listened to my conscience and gotten out of the situation?
What if I had said something different?
What if I would have been somewhere else?
What if I had walked away?
What if...?
Thinking all these things has left me feeling
empty, unwanted, overwhelmed, unworthy, depressed,
and most of all,
afraid.
I was talking to Tyler today and he said something that made this thought click in my head.
It was firm and unwavering.
No matter what we have done, no matter how unworthy we feel we are, no matter how far we have strayed,
no matter what kind of hell we are in,
WE ARE LOVED.
We are loved unconditionally by a Father in Heaven, the very Creator of the Universe, who would not forsake us because we made a mistake or two. That's the thing about this life, we are going to screw up. He knew that. That's why He sent his Son to perform the Atonement. The Atonement covers each of our imperfections, each of our mistakes, if we give them to God and trust that He will care for us.
I promise you that He will. He will care for you. He will heal your broken heart. He will remove the anguish of sin and heartache. He will make it so that you can overcome any trial.
Why else would we be here on this Earth if not to learn and overcome and become the kind of men and women that we have the potential to be? Our divine potential is so great! Nothing can take that from you. No sin, no mistake, no act will remove that.
That's the one thing that I know for sure, that we are SO loved, that we are never going to do anything that will estrange us from that love.
It's easier said than done, I know. I am still learning to apply this in my own life, especially when I know that I have done something that is life-altering, something that is not to be taken lightly. Even though I know that I have screwed up and that I need to repent and move forward, I can't shake the thought that I am still loved and cherished, that I can and will overcome. Maybe not right now, maybe not even in the next month, but I will get better through the goodness, grace, and mercy of God.
