Dear Boy: Part II

Dear Boy,
I now understand
why you stopped talking to me.
The girl is beautiful,
I'm happy for the two of you,
really, I am.

Just know that not a
day goes by that I
don't think of something
that I would tell you;
that I don't do something
that reminds me of you;
that I don't hear a song
or watch a movie that
makes me think of you.

I can't help but think about
how you made me feel
important
how you made me feel
beautiful
and how for the first time
in a long time that I was
truly happy.

I guess the truth is that
I miss you.
I miss how you could
make me laugh,
I miss how my heart would
start pounding every time
I would see you or when
you would reach for my hand.

Don't worry about me,
I'll be okay,
I always will be.

I have so much to be grateful
to you for. It was because of you
that I got back on my horse
for the first time in ten years.
thanks
It was because of you that I
learned that I deserve to be
treated like I am the only girl
that is out there.
thanks
I learned that the walls that
I have built up in my heart
aren't as strong nor as high
as I thought they were because
you broke almost all of them down.
thanks

But remember
remember me,
remember how easily I trusted you,
remember how you made me laugh,
remember how you still have a piece of me,
and remember that if you came
back that I would accept you like
nothing happened, like you didn't
break my heart, like we were best friends.

I guess what I'm really trying to say
is that I'm not over you
even if I say that I am.

We Been Talkin' 'Bout Jackson

I just possibly got

the. best. news.

I am going to be living here for the summer:

[source]

T Cross Ranch outside of the one and only

Jackson Hole, Wyoming.

It truly doesn't get ANY better than living in the mountains, riding a horse every day, and getting paid for it.

I am beyond excited for this!

In 16 weeks I will be there!

COME ON SUMMER!

Recap: My Great Gramma

So back in November I said that there was a funny story about my Great Grandma Kaye about patience in a doctor's office. Well kids, here it is,

imma tell you the story.

One day, I didn't have school so I was spending the day with my Grandma and her mom, Gramma Kaye.

Well, Great-Grandma had a doctor's appointment that morning at 9.

We got all loaded up in the car and took our drive just a couple of miles down the road to the clinic.

I loved the Highlights magazines when I was a little kid, and let's face it, what else is there to do in the doctor's office except read outdated magazines?

I claimed a seat and a magazine while my Grandma got all checked in. I was doing the monthly

"Where's Waldo?" puzzle in the magazine when my Grandma(s) came to sit down.

Not even five minutes after sitting, myGreat Grandma looked at her watchand said, "It's exactly 9 o'clock."

My Grandma said,"Mother, calm down,he'll call you back when heis good and ready for you."

She just made a snootyface like "don't you tell me that."

Then, a whole two minutes later,Great Grandma started freaking outvery loudly saying,

"WHERE THE HELL IS HE?IT'S 9:02. MY APPOINTMENTIS FOR 9:00. I EXPECT TO BE

EXAMINED AT 9:00!"

My Grandma and I[along with everyone else in the office]instantly busted out laughing.

Great Grandma didn't think itwas very funny.She then said,

"WHAT?!  I HAVE PLACES TO GO.

PEOPLE TO SEE. SHIT TO DO."

I just looked at her and said,

"Grandma. You're 90 years old.What do you think you're going to do?!"

Again, the whole office was erupting in laughter.I learned that day that sometimes

patience is overrated.

Dear Boy...

Back in November, my friends set me up with another friend of theirs. The thing is that I happened to know this guy very well. His brother was my brother's best friend back in the day, AND his mom was my

Sunday School teacher for years. So, it's fair to say that we knew each other.

We talked every day (a couple times we were up until 2 or 3 AM) It was like I could tell him everything,

I could be myself. He was always a

perfect gentleman

[which is kind of a big deal for me]

We were together almost every day for two weeks. Then everything just stopped.

I was afraid that I did something wrong. I was worried that I had somehow messed things up like I usually do. Finally, he told me that he had some big news. He was  moving in January.

I just thought, "it's all good, that's not for two months, we'll deal with this when it gets here."

And we were back to our usual routine of talking every day, even if it was just a "hey, have a great day"

kind of thing.

I was starting to think that this was just

too good to be true.

We hung out a few more times, went on a couple of dates, then *poof* it was over.

I haven't spoken to him beyond small talk in over three weeks.

Good grief, is it pathetic that I feel like I've lost something? The worst part is that I'm not even sure that

it was mine to lose in the first place.

The best part about this whole thing is that

I've learned.

I've learned that sometimes

I jump into things too fast.

I've learned that

I'm not a heartless zombie

[heh okay, that's a joke, but for real, it's comforting to know that I am capable of feeling like that]

AND I've finally been on a real date.

halellujah almost 20 years old and I went on my first real date in November.

[sorry for the slight tangent there]

Anyway, I had the time of my life.

Do I miss him? definitely.

Am I going to let him know that?

I don't know. [unless he reads this,

probably not]

But hey, it's a new year. Time for new friends, new knowledge, blah blah, ya'll have heard all that garb before.

So here's to 2012, let's make it the best year of our lives!

FINALS.

Sorry I have kind of been MIA lately.

It's finals week at USU right now. That's why I've been gone. All this studying is making me have a constant headache.

That's basically what I've been up to. Sorry, no juicy deets on my life.

BUT here is a picture of my thoughts:

source

See ya'll in 4 days.... if I make it that long.

Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing

Well folks, I've done it!

I've made it a whole month of listing the things that I am thankful for.

Here I thought I would run out of things to put on here, but I am finding that I have so much more that I would like to talk about.

I have a lot more than these 30 simple blessings, so I'm thinking that I'll probably continue this 'attitude of gratitude' thing as things come to me.

So, here it is. The final post for my

November 2011 gratitude journal.

November 30, 2011

I am so, so thankful for the life that I have! 

[beware, this is going to  be a lot of summarizing of the last 29 days, but I'm writing what I feel]

First off, I am grateful that I have a loving, merciful Heavenly Father who  knows me by name, who knows what I need most to become the best person that I can be. I am grateful that He was  willing to send his Beloved Son, Jesus Christ, to atone for  my sins so that I could have the opportunity to  return to live with Him again. This is something that I could never repay, although  I will certainly try

every day of my life.

I am grateful for all of the incredible people who support me in all that I do. I truly owe ya'll so so so much. I wouldn't be where I am without you and your examples.

Thank you especially to my second mommy Linda, [its her birthday today] for teaching me what it means to be a real, classy lady and showing me that I really can achieve the things that I strive for, even if it means having to make some difficult decisions along the way. Thank you for being my counselor, my mom, my Young Women's leader, but most of all, thank you for being my friend.

Thank you to Tauni Shae, I know I've said before that you are my best friend, and that I owe you. But really, you have taught me so many things that it's difficult for me to put into words how grateful that I am to

have you as my best friend.

and finally, Thank you to my family. I love you so much, and I know that at some points I have been a pain in the butt, I have been more than difficult, I have been obnoxious, I have been a spoiled brat, but I can't even describe how much I appreciate all that you sacrifice so that I can be happy. The things that you

have done haven't gone unnoticed, sometimes I just have a hard time saying what I feel in my heart.

I am so thankful that I have so many great opportunities to do whatever it is that I want to do. I love that I live in a place that I can have a hundred different hobbies that I can spread across the year, keeping things fresh.

I am blessed to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I really do know that I am

part of a 'great work and a wonder' on the earth today. I know that I am able to pray to and receive answers from God the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ at any time. I am so thankful for that constant line of communication.

Ahh! I have so many things to say, but this post is getting a little on the lengthy side, so I'll leave you all with the video that is the title of this post, Come Thou Fount as sung by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

Git 'Er Done

Day 29

Productive Mode. 

I'm glad that my 'must get things done' mode has kicked in 

[and perfect timing too, with finals coming in 2 weeks]

It's only Tuesday, and I've already got  my homework done, I've got a bit of reading left to do, but that will

go quickly. All my big projects are done already.

GO ME!

Let's hope that this continues for until the end of the semester, because we all know that the closer it gets to the end, the less I'm going to pay attention.

cross your fingers for me, folks!