Keepin' It Together

Since I've come 'home' to Loganfrom the ranch, I have felt

different.

I don't really know what it is,but something has changed.

Is it me? Is it my friends?

Is it my environment?

In all honesty,it has me downright

scared.

I was talking to one of my best friends about this change, and she said 'you seem to have it together'

The truth is, I don't.

I don't have it together.

I miss my family; my ranch family.

I miss being away from everything.

I miss being forced to deal with

my problems instead of having so many outlets to run away from them.

I miss comedy hour at dinner.

I miss talking to people about life instead of just small talk.

I miss living with my best friend.

I miss being able to walk out into the trap and have instant connections with the horses.

I miss having to trust myself.

I miss having people trust me to  learn something potentially dangerous

on my own.

Mostly, I miss the person that I was when I was there.

Maybe that's what has changed,

I have to adjust back to living the way that I was before my world was completely turned around.

Don't get me wrong, I love school. But something has changed in that too, my heart isn't in it anymore.

That's because I left it here.